We've had a fine session of recording - one song that has emerged is "Mark, What's The Score?" - a 1970's style burst of retro disco with a guest vocalist - Mark from Salford. Tonight , as it's January 16th , the three Sues are taking me out for a bit of a do.

The Disco Students are currently in the middle of a frenzied recording session. Down here in Bridport - the air is full of post-punkness , a lot of jagged electronic thumps and beats. Sue Haphazard and Sue Murderforce have really got a great thing going in the rhythm department, whilst Sue Undeniable has been coming up with some highly decorative Tom Verlaine like bursts of NYC 1976 guitar. How do they do it?
We have been offered a live date in London for March - the 2006 DS are such a different kettle of fish from earlier versions, a live performance will need much planning - we are going to think about it this weekend. To give us all a break from recording,I took the three Sues to watch Weymouth v Eastleigh in the Conference South. 2-0 to The Terras (Weymouth) - the star of the show was the Eastleigh goalkeeper, Wayne Shaw. He weighs in around 20 stone - and used to play for Southampton & Reading. He received savage treatment from the home fans - took it with good grace, and then made a number of great saves. We, the Disco Students - salute him.

Official New Year Photograph : The Disco Students - 2006. Photo by Sue Muderforce assisted by Sue Undeniable & Sue Haphazard ( taken outside The Bull Hotel, Bridport - Wednesday 11th January 2006).

"Oh No, You're Pregnant." Now the three Sues are back with me, we've been carrying on with the new recordings. We've given O.N.Y.P. a great going over - the song is a post-punk electronic thrash. All most entertaining. The tracklisting for the new release is slowly falling into place - looks like there'll be six tracks - not decided which the main track will be yet. Before that, the retrospective CD will be out - the cover is currently being put together this week.

Some more good news. I got a telephone call at 3 am from one of the three Sues ( Sue Undeniable). She told me a lot of things, but basically she informed me that the three Sues want to come back and help with the new recordings. I said OK.
They were up in the Midlands somewhere ( possibly Birmingham ) - so they're getting a National Coach down to Bridport today. I'm going to pick them up from the bus station. This is great news for the Disco Students.

By the end of the week there will be a MySpace site carrying the latest recordings - you can find it at :http://www.myspace.com/discostudents2006.

Last week, down in Bridport - I went to a Thai restuarant - and in keeping with my usual practice - drank as much booze as I could lay my hands on. I do love drinking.
But, the next morning, I felt dreadful. Then, I decided to give it up. Booze that is. And I have. For a week. Amazing. I reckon that is the longest I have gone without a drink for about 25 years. How long this will continue - who knows? But it is nice to be able to stop completely without seeing big spiders climb up the walls or sweating and shaking like a bastard. I have suddenly become all self righteous - questioning people ( occasionally complete strangers ) on why they have to drink alcohol to enjoy themselves. It's great up here on the moral high ground.

Just finished a session recording "King Of The Manchester Baggy Scene". Quite a bit to do yet, but it really is excellent. The first time , I believe, The Disco Students have had a load of Volga Boatmen contributing backing vocals. The final touches are being made to the retrospective record - I am going to include at least two new songs ( one definitely being K.O.T.M.B.S.) - so the final CD could well be 22 or even 23 tracks.

Review just in from Belgian music ezine Dogmatik. Seem to know what they're on about.
http://www.dogmatik.be/

Upon receipt of this CD I definitely expected some typical kitschy disco-like beat project that at best might have tried to give 70's extravaganza an additional touch of modernity and contemporary originality to actualize it once more. I was immediately awaken after listening to the first notes of the opening track. Maybe these guys at one point did study disco, but they definitely were raised on another sound ! What I heard reminded me of bands like "Pink Turns Blue", "The Beloved" and "The Shamen". These guys have listened to alternative music from the early 90's. A good opening track "My Black Girlfriend" and I am on the tip of my chair. On to "Mark e. Smith's Dead (version)". A different story as I get a load of guitars this time riffing and howling their guts out in lo-fi. For this track I found myself back in the tradition of "The Wire", "The Buzzcocks", a raw version of "The Cure" or "The Slits". Great traditional raw powerful punk-inspired rock without complexities and or trickery. The third track "My Secretary" takes us back to "Pink Turns Blue", "Plan B", "The Romeos" (remixed by Coldcut) and is a fat, raw, electronic piece of Indie-extravaganza. Next up is "The Most Handsome Man on T.V. (version)" which is simply a return to track 2 in style. More guitar powered punk-rock with a clear reference to "Joy Division". It could have passed for a early demo of "The Smiths" just before they smoothened out their sound, or as it was captured on the Peel Session's version of "What Difference Does it Make ?". The following is a modern electro tune with a rave melody and singing in the tradition of Manchester. Electro-wave in a modern jacket with a brit-pop flavour. "Nice Little Bust" is a piece of weird alternative "Flying Pickets" close harmony singing... To top off this EP there is "My Lesbian Sister" which is inspired again by "Pink Turns Blue" or "The Beloved". This one gets closer to EBM then the previous tracks.

Overall I would definitely go and check out these guys live if I had an opportunity. They are fantastic. They bring back some old traditions and sounds but they have managed to mix it all into a distinct sound which is their own. An achievement and the ingredients which made bands such as "Franz Ferdinand" or "The Kaiser Chiefs" stand out from the pack. Their tracks still need some work, their production is not entirely fine-tuned (but then again I think that the raw, sometimes distorted sound is a surplus to their sound). I will keep following this band and I strongly recommend lovers of all bands name in the review to do the same. It is not everyday punk, nor is it plain rock... It is all about a band doing their distinct own thing, with a specific individual sound full of references however to the alternative scenes of the past 20 years.



Reviewed by The Avenger

No sign of the three Sues for a few days now.I went up to the hill this morning ( the hill where they park their car to spy on me ) - their car had gone, but there were a load of cigarette ends and footprints . They'd been there.

It Isn't Easy (Being Shit).

It isn't easy being shit, and I've had 25 years of it,
It aint easy being crap,
I've been booed off stage and shouted down,
Told to pack up my gear and immediately leave town.

I've been heckled and harrassed by drunken louts,
I go unrecognised by ticket touts,
I've got a pile of reviews two foot deep,
The best one calls me a "talentless dick"
It isn't easy being shit.

Booking agents are never at home,
A&R men don't answer the phone,
I've seen soundmen vomit at my soundcheck,
And recording engineers turned to nervous wrecks
It isn't easy being shit.

I am completely deluded and unaware,
No one likes me, I don't care.
My CDs are recycled and melted down,
And used for buttons on dressing gowns.

Well, fancy that.....

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4811434885

I Am The Man Who Invented Fridge Magnets.

I went out with a girl and told her I was gay,
Her brothers tried to give me eighty five pounds to go away.
I said " Let me, let me proove myself"
"I'll throw myself down a hill and bruise myself"

I looked for a Get Rich Scheme,
A new flavour of ice cream,
An opportunity in the United States,
A way to get round paying business rates.

I tried crime but didn't like the company,
One night I broke into the offices of a listed company,
I stripped lead from the local church roof,
Melted it down and sold it as a new mixer for Vermouth.

But I'm mainstream.
I'm mainstream.
I am the man who invented fridge magnets.

You'll miss me when I've gone.
You'll miss me when I've gone.

I have decided to stay in the house as long as I can . There's no way the 3 Sues would try to get back into here if they know I'm in. . At night, I leave ALL the lights on so it looks, from the hill where they're living in the car, that the place is busy with people. I realise the electricity bill will be crippling - but it won't ( by my estimate) arrive until March - so hopefully, I'll have a hit record or something and be able to pay for it.

Mice In My Hair (Part Two).

In this suit, in this suit,
I slept in a car boot, yeah a car boot.
Dragged myself through a hedge ( backwards),
I have the arse hanging out of my pants,
My pants are full of ants.
My head is full of lice,
My hair is full of mice.

I have spots on my nose,
I wear another man's clothes,
No-one loves me, I don't care.
I have mice nesting in my hair.

My car is in bits,
There are no spares no more.
I have mice nesting in my hair.

So today I tripped on a root,
And then put my toe right through the end of my boot.
I showed for a job, but the job had gone,
They'd gone and give it to a Mormon.
He had, they said, many wives to support,
If I tried that, I'd end up in court.

My ears are full of wax,
I ain't paying my Council Tax,
I lost £300 playing some kind of dice,
My hair, my hair is full of mice.

Untitled.(26.12.05)

jeffrey from shalamar, oh jeffrey from shalamar.
where is the money for my car?
I lent you it last week for you to drive to cruisers creek.
you gave your word you'd get it back to me,
now i've heard word you've wrapped it around a tree.

lol creme, lol creme from 10cc,
where's that dough that's due to me?
I paid for your kids to go to public school,
I re-wired your house and then fell ill,
You have yet to settle these bills.

I am a one trick pony who never read a book,
I was sent to stand in the corner of the class,
The arse hung out of my trousers,
I was made to wear a dunces cap, a dunces cap.

charlie harper, charlie from the uk subs,
You and me we bought that pub,
I paid the deposit, did the paperwork,
you fucked off on a uk tour, a man of your age should know better,
that's why your hairdressers went bust.

I was out of the house for short time yesterday ( Christmas Day) - when I came back it was clear one or even more of the Sues had been back to pick up some of their stuff. I didn't realise they still had a key, but this looks to be the case. I believe they sit in their car on the hill at the back of the house - from there they can see me coming and going.


who's your favourite - gilbert or george?

they sleep together in a big wooden bed,
they eat ham and eggs, ham and eggs.
send dry cleaning , send dry cleaning,
get their teeth done by a dentist.

someone's pissed up against their door,
pushed a free newspaper through their letterbox
a do-gooder got a petition going,
started a rumour there was community charge owing.

they never cooks meals, did you know that?
always eat in cafes, where did I read that?
they won't go out of the country you know,
in case they're not allowed back in.

they got a dog with three legs, dog with three legs.
got a grant from the council, keeps their fees down.
they got a dog with three legs, dog with three legs.
they turned down an opportunity,
to join the witness protection programme.

Christmas time is a strange time to be alone. The three Sues have long since left me alone here in Dorset. So, I will use the next week to write new material. No distractions - none of the typical Christmas goings on. I plan to post a new song/poem each day. That discipline will keep me busy. Here's the first:


I Love Your Shop.

I live in sheltered housing I shop til I drop
Ad manager on the face used to be Rod Sopp
You're my foreman, I'm the kind that needs a foreman
When I've had enough, then my friend, then I'll stop
Give it up, give in, give it to me,
I love your shop.

Sometimes I'm all mixed up, I change my mind
When I look at you I see you're too that kind
You're my foreman, I'm the kind that needs a foreman
In the morning I'm at the bottom, in the afternoon at the top.
Save me, save yourself, save me
I love your shop.

I was never academic.
I was never gonna be a mechanic.
I should have gone to college
But I never had the knowledge
My father drove the 21 bus
To get me through the eleven plus.

Into the Christmas period - and a bout of cyber-aggro has broken out. All highly amusing. I can't sing for toffee and spend all my time posting insults on other folks websites. Tell me something I don't know and isn't that what the internet is for ?
As soon as I heard about this new fangled internet thing, I knew it was for me. No longer did I have to waste valuable time writing crank letters or making late night obscene telephone calls to single women or the vulnerable, I could create all my mischief at the click of a mouse. Brilliant.
The mixing and re-mastering of the retrospective record has begun - all very nice too. Here's a picture that may be on the cover.

Some festive news. Paul Hawksbee & Andy Jacobs, who host a show on TalkSport Radio(1053/1089am) weekday afternoons - played my 12 Days Of Christmas Song today - and plan to play it until Christmas Day. It's recorded under the name of one of my alter egos - Simon RicePudding ( pronounced Risping). I put it together last Friday evening - it's a football based piece of nonsense. Could well be a big hit ......

The Disco Students are fantastic, everyone knows that - but The Haircuts, well, crikey,some professors of music say they were even better. Word reaches me The Haircuts are receiving radio play in the U.S. At St Louis station KDHX. "Do You Remember L-L-Longwick" rattling through the airwaves after all this time. http://www.kdhx.org/playlist.php?date=2004-01-12&show=Scene%20of%20the%20Crime

Here's a new creation:

King Of The Manchester Baggy Scene.

I was a Manchester City trainee,
Whose career was ended by a broken knee,
Failed my O Levels due to no revision,
Became a roadie for Joy Division.

I was pinned up against the wall,
At the Manchester Free Trade Hall,
By the future rhythm section of The Fall,
Tony Wilson witnessed it all.

I was a Stockholm Monster and a Chameleon,
Sang backing vocals with the Durutti Column.
I ran warehouse parties in Trafford Park
And sold Chelsea boots to John Cooper-Clarke.

I managed the Happy Sundays then they changed their name,
Ditched me and went on to worldwide fame,
I was brought in to remix "WonderWall"
But now the Gallaghers wont return my calls

Now I'm the head of a new regime,
I'm the King Of The Manchester Baggy Scene.